Chick Flicks - The True Story

Courtesy of a friend of a friend:

Girls. I was wrong. Please disregard any previous advice I might have given you on finding true love. Fact is, it has nothing to do with being a good person, being true to yourself, or even setting standards, as I previously believed. Based on the movies that you love, laugh and cry in (and watch incessantly) -- I think Hollywood has it figured out. It just might not be what you originally thought. Let's have a little look-see:

Dirty Dancing

* To find true love, hit the clubs and dance as dirty as possible. The "Dirty Dancing" of 1963 is equivalent to something you'd see today in a Flo Rida video. So if you want to find a good man, go 'head shawty, get low low low low low...

* To find true love, engaging in statutory rape is permissible. "Baby" Houseman really WAS a baby, a 17 year old one. We don't really know how old Johnny Castle was supposed to be, but he looked about 40.

The Notebook

*To find true love, it's ok to cheat on your current fiancee -- under the following conditions:

- You're cheating with someone in the Armed Forces. It shows support for our troops.

- You do it in a boat with a million doves flying around

- You later forget about it and need to be reminded daily in story form until you die

Grease

* To find true love, and tame a bad boy, simply become a bad girl yourself. Skin tight black pants? Check. Off the shoulder shirt? Check. Cigarette? Check. That outta woo 'em. Poison your body, dress like a whore, and you just might find yourself arm in arm with the man of your dreams being carried off into the sunset to "You're the One That I Want."

Pretty Woman

* To find true love, try being a hooker. Forget being a teacher, or a doctor, just slap on a wig, sell your body, and you, too, just might "Gere" up and find that rich, sophisticated man of your dreams.

Titanic

* To find true love, take naked pics of yourself and distribute them accordingly. Or, if there's no camera readily available, draw one. Remember kids, "sexting" lasts forever. Or in the case of Rose Calvert, one nude picture can somehow last underwater for like 70 years until it is later found by a bunch of dirty sailors.

Sex and the City

* To find true love, it doesn't matter if you're horse faced, a closet lesbian, a faux goody goody, or just an old whore. As long as you wear shoes that cost as much as a used car, and come up with the occasional quip, you can whore it up all you want, and still find the man of your dreams.

Well, there you have it!

Oh the fabulous me... 10-10-10

My birthday is in a week. I do this every year... I hate it actually. I get depressed and instead of wanting to celebrate "me" I want to hide from the world.

I do not like getting older, I do not like looking back at opportunities that I missed and I despise saying things like "I should of done this or that..." I try my damnedest to live life forward, without looking back. Living with no regrets and with my head held high, but every year for this short stint of time when I know I am a year older closer to my grave I find myself thinking. Thinking about who I wanted to be, who I am today, contemplating if I really like "me," and what I am willing to do about it if I don't.

I saw someone's Facebook status this week and truly thought wow... this person is really thinking straight. It said something about trying to be positive and instead of thinking about all the things he or she didn't have they were going to commit themselves to being thankful for the things they do have... cliche? Or the honest root to happiness. I am very happy for all the things that I have in life... for my accomplishments that I take pride in... but I am also a dreamer, a wisher, and a very determined dival.

Last night on Grey's Karev kept calling Meredith a junky because she was so determined to get back into surgery... well me, I am what you would call a success junky. Self proclaimed of course... I thrive on it... I need it to feel alive and worthwhile, otherwise I feel useless and bored. My point is that I want to be happy and content with all that I have... but I also need to know that there is always something more out there to obtain... otherwise what the heck am I living for... the fun of it? Ohhhh if that were just the case, I'd live life on a beach if I could... but in our world 2010 we need money to survive and my second career choice as beach bum didn't pay so well.

Last year I turned 30... I was scared, sure... but I had just moved to my dreamland (FL) and was busy wrapped up in getting to know the land, the people, and my new job... this year things are different and I am actually getting to celebrate... that is... if I can get myself out of this god awful dumpy mood. So... October 1st which is today... I am starting a new diet, new workout, and new focus... I figure if I can make progress in the next 10 days (in time for my "Epic" birthday) then I can set a new goal for Thanksgiving... then Christmas... in no time, I should be feeling all sorts of young and sassy right? Or... is this just merely a birthday wish?