Remember That One Time

The good times and the fond memories I've had on my journey with friends.

That time we scared the shit out of our co-worker by driving Gilbert into the parking ramp post...

When we had to stay in Midland for a seminar in school and quickly became known to all as "the girls"...

When we "ruined" the bachelorette party...

When we drove 17 hours (on no sleep) to stay on a Marine base with guys we barely knew...

When we decorated Gilbert for all our NSYNC concerts...

That time we were in Chicago... after a long day stuck at the train station that old hag got upset because I said "my mouth tastes like shit"...

When we were doing the cupid shuffle and my stiletto when right through your toe...

When we stayed in the bunk house and I couldn't for the life of me pee outside appropriately...

When we were too scared to go into that creepy house up north that we always thought was haunted...

When I stole all that guy's money that fell on the floor in the club while we were in Canada...

That time we walked MILES and MILES from a non-disclosed place... just because we wanted to save our money for street vendor hotdogs while in Windsor...

When my mom threw a cheeseburger at the wall...

When we were yelling out to the band to play John Mayer and they didn't know any of his tunes...

When we were pretty sure Phil Vasser's guitarist was singing the unedited and added words to "Money Money" right at and with us...

When we were the last two standing in London...

That time when the guy was dancing and jumping all over the Cata bench and you said... "Brotha (adlibed) they gonna see you!"...

When we used to dance on the bar at Spiral...

Your 21st birthday when you got sick... went home for a change of cloths and went out for more...

When we went out in Kansas City and the cabby thought it would be funny to take us to a bar in which we clearly didn't belong...

When on the canoe trip, we managed to get away from everyone to avoid being tipped... only to tip ourselves...

That time I went face first into the jukebox...

When I said "To all my chingalla's out there..." not realizing what that actually meant...

The list could go on and on... but for now I will just say I miss my friends, I miss our life together and will forever hold on to EVERY SINGLE memory we ever made together ;o)

Fall in Lala Land

Fall is, and always has been my favorite season. It's difficult living in Michigan however, to fully express your appreciation for Fall when you know what is to follow... Winter. Fall in Michigan means many things, back to school, new "fall" smells, the changing of leaves, boots, sweaters, football, cider, and Halloween. For me, I've always seen Fall as a new beginning. A fresh start to something big and exciting... maybe it's because my birthday occurs during this season or that I am a perpetual back to school geek. Whatever it is, I love how I feel and how every year my whole being can change with a simple drop in temperature.

Living in Florida now there is much to adjust to. First and foremost the on-set of football season isn't nearly as exciting since I swear I have yet to find football fans of any kind (NFL or college) that know remotely what it's like to actually tailgate. Attending the game is actually buying a ticket and standing outside the stadium for at least 4 hours drinking beer and playing cornhole. It isn't a 4 hour game event it is an 8 hour day event. You only go to the bar after you've tailgated to watch the game if you don't have a ticket... you don't actually tailgate at the bar.

Second, and maybe my biggest pet peeve is pumpkin patches. Oh sure you can buy a pumpkin. At the grocery store or from you local church's parking lot, but newsflash Floridians... those are not pumpkin patches. A pumpkin patch is on a farm... you actually take a hayride or trailer ride out to the patch and choose your pumpkin right from the spot its lived it's whole life. It's not clean! It has dirt on it.. the soil it was nursed in. You clean it!

Third, no one knows what a freaking cider mill is... my favorite thing to do in the Fall back home is drive out to the Uncle John's Cider Mill for their homemade cider, doughnuts, wine, and pies! I did a search to see if there was anything comparable... and there is not... alas it looks like skipping the mill again this year... thank god I'm pregnant and am not craving the Uncle John's wine... so my favorite ;o)

I wish so much that I could share the joys of a Michigan Fall with my Florida friends. There is such a buzz here about the change in temp... a welcoming much like back home when Winter is on the break of being over. Their enthusiasm of 70 degrees (vs 90) indicates to me that if they knew what a real cider mill, pumpkin patch, and tailgate was... it would make Fall something more to look forward to outside of the cozy and fashionable boots and sweaters.

With all that said... it is apparent to me that no matter where you live, Fall is a season is celebrated by all no matter what the actual setting is. So today I am celebrating with a Hot Apple Cider from Starbucks (not my first choice, but what are you going to do without a Biggby around) and can't wait to bust out my cozy boots tomorrow ;o)

Having a Baby

I have said that I am going to do many things in this world, but the one thing I always dreamed... and never thought would happen, is carrying a child.

It's an odd thing. To be so sure you were destined to be great at something, but never actually feeling it would happen. To see yourself doing all the actions but never seeing how you got there. For me, being a mom was inevitable. Anyone could see it... from my love and care for my little girls Britney and Paisley (who yes, are dogs). To the love and overwhelming sense of responsibility I've had with so many children in my life. Children who do not "belong" to me but have become such amazing gifts in my life... and I am happy to call my family. You see I always knew I would be a mom. Whether it be to dog or child, but I never saw my self having a child that was a flesh and blood piece of me. I never thought I'd feel life within me or that I would get to fully understand the joy (and pain) of pregnancy and childbirth.

When I started experiencing female problems in 2008 it was both sad and awakening to realize that this feeling I've had my whole life was true. I didn't want it to be true of course, but it taught me again just how in tune I was with myself, my body, my feelings, my person. My husband and I knew we wanted children so earlier this year we decided to investigate exactly what our options were. We were referred to the Center for Reproductive Medicine (CRM) in Orlando, FL and went to our first visit in May. Here we discovered that not only were there issues with me but there were issues with him. They wanted to run tests to understand what our actual odds were. Determine if we could conceive, if I could carry, etc.

The first round of tests were to start with me, but we had to wait until I had a full female cycle, this complicated things because there was nothing normal about my cycle and determining when that may or may not happen would be a challenge. In fact, it had been two months since my last... so testing became a waiting game. By the end of June we were getting discouraged and angsty. And then... I got sick.

I'll never forget that weekend... I had been feeling sick all week when suddenly on Saturday morning I threw up. Not something I ever do... I texted Shaun who was out at the time and just said "buy a test". We knew it was a long shot, especially after everything we had just been told at the CRM, but there was no other explanation to why I was getting sick. Those two little lines came up so fast... there was no waiting 2 minutes for results... there was no setting the test down to develop... they were there.

I think it was two seconds before I saw the lines and started running to the living room where Shaun was watching TV. I set the test in front of him and literally said "What the fuck is that!?" He jumped up and we just hugged.... I cried and got spastic of course and he didn't really have words. When did this happen? How could it have happened? OMG I had drank alcohol... our minds raced with questions. We set up a doctor's appointment at the CRM for blood work that Monday and by Tuesday they were calling me into the office for an ultrasound to confirm. "Wow, your really pregnant," they said. 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant to be exact. I was two months pregnant already and never knew it... and neither did they, despite previous ultrasounds, etc.

I'll never forget those early days. I'll never forget my reaction or the sheer shock of how we defied the odds. This entire process has given me such a profound understanding about how nothing in this world is completely within our control. How in one second everything you thought to be true, can be proven false. It has been amazing and unbelievably exciting... Today I am exactly 6 months along and things are perfect. Her name is Aubreanna Nichole. We simply can't wait to see her little face in just a few short months... and I can't wait to share with her one day the story of her... our little miracle.